Blogger Has Changed.

It has been over a year since my mom died, and now close to three since my friends have died.  I came back home expecting those memories to take over my life again like they did before I left.  I was expecting to come back to the stunted cage and the short chains that kept me hunched over and uncomfortable.  I am wishing that it was the case. I got home on August 2nd, after a long flight from Japan, to find out that life had continued while I was away.  
I am sorry my writing is awful, I haven't really had much human interaction for the past year because surprisingly the whole world doesn't speak English and as much as I wanted to believe it, I am not close to fluent in French.   
Anyways, my Father found his house empty.  Before Paul got married, two years ago there were five people living in the house; myself, Paul, Michelle, my Mom and Dad. And the next thing that you know, Paul and Michelle get married and move out, and then we lose my mom and I run away.  
I got so angry at my dad.  I know I didn't handle my moms death well.  I understand that I left my dad all alone.  But I couldn't handle everything there, everything being the same with the shadow of my mom everywhere around my house, my neighborhood and that city.  In January, Paul told me that dad had a girlfriend. I didn't talk to my dad for the next four months.  Then as every spoiled child realizes, I needed to live at his house again when I came back from my little adventure.  I hate myself.
But not more than I hate my dad.  
I get off the plane, did you know that a flight from Japan to Canada is nearly a full day. I was tired, I was sick of sushi, and rice, God I am sick of rice. And I go to find my dad at the airport. And there he was. Some blonde bimbo on his arm and she is like 10-15 years younger than him. I wanted to puke.  But I had to be nice, so I went up to him, and introduced myself to whom I assumed was his girlfriend that I had heard about in January, Janelle.  So I said, "Oh hey, you must be Janelle."
She wasn't Janelle.  
Her name is Izzi. Like Isabel but shorted and then spelled stupidly. And she was so excited to meet me because she had heard so much about me.  And she looked at me with such stupidity and excitement. And then she put her hands on my cheeks and looked at me sad and said, "I am sorry for what has happened to you but I am so glad you are home again." 
Izzi lives at my house. 
My father has another woman living with him.
It took me nearly two years before I saw someone after Hannah died but I didn't go and move in with her, I was in a foreign country for a week and then moved on. And Hannah and I did not even date for that long.
My dad was married to my mother for 26 years. And she hadn't left his bed for a year before he filled it with some dumb blonde chick.  It took me 500 more days to get over my girlfriend that it took him to get over his wife. We got to the same point nearly at the same time but my mom died 500 days after Hannah. 

How could he do that to my mom?  He disrespected her with Legally Blonde. My mom picked out the sheets that you two are sharing.  My moms clothes were in that closet just a few months ago and if she hadn't died they would still be there, Izzi.  My father is the worst man alive.  Just someone put a bullet in the back of my head please.     


Yeah it has been a year since I have been on here. No big deal right? Nobody even checks this anymore anyways, right? Cool.