Broken Memories

I don't get it. I just don't understand how, how just two seconds can turn my life upside down but it takes two years to turn it right side up again.  It is something that I can't properly wrap my head around.

I hate the way my memory plays games with me.  I hate how your voices haunt my sleep.  But like all dreams, after I wake up the more I try to remember the less I can recall.  I know that I remember your voices, I hear it in my dreams.  But the moment I wake up, it's gone.  I can't properly explain to you my frustrations.  But I wake up every morning and I'm mad that I woke up.  Because if it was an option I wouldn't have moved on and it wouldn't be just a dream.  I wish they were here with me.     

I remember every one of your mother's father's faces as they twisted and contorted in tears flowing down onto their laps during your funerals.  But I can't remember the last words Hannah spoke to me.

I remember my mom told me to not to get hurt and to be careful.  

I remember the moments of the crash.
I remember calling 911.
I remember seeing Evan's dead body.

I remember the ambulance when Hannah died.

I remember your funerals.
I remember a lot of horrors.  

There are a lot of things that I remember but want to forget.
There are a lot of things that I forget that but to remember. 

I miss you guys. 

Please, May You Rest In Peace.